An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
