scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
