I didn't shave. On purpose
too bad you live with your parents still
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
