The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
