He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
