If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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