Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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