my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
