And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
