you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
