Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
sarcasm needs its own font
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
