It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
