Your tits are I can't wait for
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she looked like the before picture.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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