That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
