glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
