mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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