areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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