Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Terrible idea I love it
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
