Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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