Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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