Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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