Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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