They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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