"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
