Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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