Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
