i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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