Where is the hickey?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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