can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
