I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
