Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize