called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
