Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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