When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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