Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize