Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
