Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
