is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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