dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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