there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
