it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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