Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
