dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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