What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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