I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
