I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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