It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
