Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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