Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
