I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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