don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
