when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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