your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
