how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
