trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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