Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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