I murdered the dance floor call the cops
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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