so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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