I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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