the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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